Dry your tears, people. With lightning speed, Paula Abdul is said to have been replaced on American Idol by … drum roll … Victoria Beckham! Huh? According to the British tabs, the world-class singer (ahem) is going to take up the vacant judge’s seat for a few upcoming episodes.

“Victoria is hugely flattered as this is one of the highest profile gigs in America…Network bosses would love to give her the job full-time and it looks like it’s there for her if she wants it,” reports the Mirror.

How will this work? Maybe Victoria’s famous “gay man“  trapped inside of her will come out and deliver some waspish humor. Maybe she’ll announce that she’ll debut her smile if someone sings well enough? You gotta have a gimmick, and we’re not sure being super super thin is enough. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Rumors have been swirling that the timing of Paula Abdul’s “resignation” from American Idol and the appearance in L.A. of Britain’s X Factor host Cheryl Cole isn’t just a coincidence — and that Cheryl could be lined up to replace Paula on the hit show. But apparently, this is way off the mark, and the truth could be that fellow X Factor judge Dannii Minogue could indeed be the younger(ish) model replacing her.

“There have never been any plans for [Cheryl] to go on US TV … she only wants to focus on her music,” reports Metro, instead playing up Dannii’s “exciting” talks with the show producers.

If true, it would be a neat victory for the Aussie star, sister of Kylie, who’s had to face down unfavorable comparisons with Cheryl since last year. Alternatively, it could all be another massive publicity ruse for the show, and Paula will return regardless. And Simon Cowell will rub his hands in evil glee at yet more money-making PR for his shows. Sigh. [Photos: Splash News Online]

In news we’re not sure whether to be impressed or terrified by (we suspect both), music mogul Simon Cowell has teamed up with longtime friend and retail giant Sir Philip Green (pictured at right) to create a new uber-powerful entertainment company. The TV judge will set up the company with Kate Moss’s Topshop boss — who’s Britain’s 9^th richest person — to ensure he owns the rights of all the entertainment shows he’s involved with, from American Idol to Britain’s Got Talent and the X-Factor.

“They are talking about making profits running into billions as opposed to millions from their joint venture … they’re thinking in terms of a new Disney. What they’re planning is that big,” said a source close to the hairy-chested pair. Gulp. [Photo: Splash News Online]

A new series of Britain’s Got Talent kicked off in the UK a few days ago, and when Susan Boyle walked onto the stage, the judges, audience and viewers at home were convinced they were in for another stomach-clenching embarrassing turn. The middle-aged Scot, who confessed on-stage to being a virgin, also seemed to irritate Simon Cowell before she even opened her mouth to sing. But then she did - and now she’s being hailed as the most incredible find of all three series. Just watch the YouTube clip, which has already been viewed more than two million times on YouTube, to find out why. And realize that perhaps it’s better not to judge too quickly sometimes.

We know it’s currently #29 on IMDb’s Bottom 100 Movies Ever, but Kelly Clarkson truly, truly can’t stand movie disaster zone From Justin To Kelly even more than the rest of us. Nope, she hates it so much she wishes she’d never won American Idol. Eh?

“When I won Idol, the agreement that we signed was that whoever won had to be in the movie. So when I came to the top two, I was begging not to win. I’ve never in my life wanted to be an actress, ever!” she tells Reveal magazine. We applaud your honesty and self-awareness about the truly terrible flick, Kelly - but, um, might you not be here today if you hadn’t won the show? Then (terrible “joke” alert) your life would truly suck. [Photo: Getty Images]

Hang on, hadn’t you two broken up? Simon Cowell and “ex-girlfriend” Terri Seymour looked very cozy together on the red carpet at a fundraiser last night in Hollywood, sparking rumors the two may be back together. Earlier this week, Terri spoke to Britain’s Closer magazine, where she admitted that she’s still working on the renovation of his house, as well as staying in freakishly-close contact.

“Looking after Simon’s a full-time job when you go out with him — and I’m still doing it now! I’m still overseeing and finalizing his new house. I’ve project-managed it all, right down to the furniture. Simon and I speak six times a day, and I see him all the time. We’re happy as we are. We still see each other as much as when we were together,” she said.

Right. That sounds like a healthy break-up to us, giving each other plenty of space to move on and all that. Any new girlfriend/boyfriend of these two is going to have to be VERY understanding. Possibly even blind. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Lily Allen is a bloody genius. Who else could keep churning out newsworthy gossip bits on an almost daily basis while their new single is out (and now it’s at number 1 in the UK?). The latest missile to fire from her lips is the revelation that she sent Simon Cowell a sexy text. By accident, of course.

“I was kind of seeing this guy and then it was over. So I texted my godmother in Jamaica and told her and as a joke I said, ‘Maybe my next conquest should be Simon Cowell.’ You know when someone is in your mind and you accidentally text them? He replied, ‘Sorry?’” she says.

As much as you think Lily and Simon are an odd pairing - and we know she likes her older men - an even more WTF utterance from our Lil is in this month’s UK Glamour. Age really is no barrier for the 23 year old, as she confirms she wouldn’t mind a go at an 86-year-old artist.  “I thought, ‘I want to shag Lucian Freud’,” she told the mag. The girl is a publicity machine.  [Photo: Splash News Online]