American Idol

Two things: Number one, can there just be a moratorium on all things Kesha? Every writer forced to type her name already refuses to add the dollar sign out of spite, so can we also just agree, as a nation, that she’s awful and shouldn’t be allowed to sing anymore too? And also, who is this Orianthi person and why was she a performer on American Idol last night? Forgive us if she’s super famous and we’re one “Get off my lawn!” away from  being completely ancient and obsolete, but we have never heard of her and weren’t impressed by either performance on last night’s results show.

In other Idol news, we did find out who the first person to get kicked off was, and for once this year, the bottom three was dead on.
(more…)

Overall, the contestants on American Idol - even the ones we don’t think deserve to be there - did pretty well last night. At least vocally; some of the arrangements were just plain wrong (Tim Urban singin’ de reggae, mon), but there were no real cringe-worthy moments aside from that one. Most surprisingly, the judges weren’t critical of song choices at all, and there wasn’t a single performance that they trashed (well okay, again, Tim’s was universally panned but they applauded his risk-taking). Seems like the gap between a lot of performers narrowed this week and we actually enjoyed this episode. Thank you, Rolling Stones, for inspiring some decent music last night.

(more…)

Double U - Tee - Eff was up with this episode?

Before we get to it though, we just want to say right off that we re-watched parts of the Wednesday night American Idol and, on second viewing, the judges’ behavior only seemed more awkward. Kara DioGuardi’s blubbering and Ellen DeGeneres’ stage rush don’t get any less annoying or creepy with time. Moving on though to more the more pressing matters at hand,  the Thursday show. This episode revealed the names of the final twelve contestants and we just have to say, America, you are a bunch of idiots and your ears are stupid. Also, we got the return of Scott MacIntyre and Matt Giraud singing Billy Joel’s “Tell Her About It”, with “It” being the remote control - she could have used it to change the channel, that’s how infuriating the show was.

(more…)

This was some episode, huh? The guys on American Idol were great (give or take a couple of hiccups), but let’s be honest: the night belonged to Big Mike. Michael Lynche sealed his fate when he closed the show with a fantastic version of “This Woman’s Work” and we bet Ellen DeGeneres is sorry she wasted her hug on Tim Urban. ‘Cause you can’t be running out of your seat all the time to give hugs, Ellen.

(more…)

American Idol was a glorious hour-long blur last night, with each of the eight female contestants performing and minimal filler and banter in between, but that also meant less junk to make fun of, so we’re just analyzing the performances today. They were all decent, but the night’s front-runners were some of the usual suspects, Crystal Bowersox, Siobhan Magnus, as well as a surprisingly decent Didi Benami. Unfortunately some of the other contestants came down with a case of “Who Am I As An Artist?”-itis, which, according to the judges, is fatal. Read on for a recap of each performance.
(more…)

Well this was painful. We don’t mean the entire episode of American Idol, we’re specifically referring to the part of the show when Haeley Vaughn sang “The Climb” for a second time as she bid us all farewell. To be fair, the teen was a little weepy, since she had just heard she was just kicked off the show, but after hearing her, we’re pretty confident that that was the worst version of any song performed in the Top 20 round ever. Uphill battle, indeed. For us, the listeners.

The episode brought no surprises; we were confident that Haeley, as well as Jermaine Sellers, would take their leave, but we’re more surprised that Tim Urban and His Bangs still have fans, we have no idea how he’s still safe. Unfortunately the same can’t be said of John Park’s bangs. Purple Haze is glad to have you back, bro. Michelle Delamor made her exit as well, and since we don’t have anything snappy to say about her, it’s probably for the best.
(more…)

The Girls’ Night performances on American Idol were definitely disappointing and made us question how these ten girls are the best America had to offer this year. And to think they had an extra day to rehearse! Aside from Crystal Bowersox and her magical guitar and mystery health problems, the rest of the girls were decent, but not mind-blowing. On the up side, there was a lone boo-er in the audience, Ryan Seacrest’s fixation with Justin Bieber was on display again, and Simon Cowell actually, and without irony, said the word “misunderestimated.” Also, there was a sheep dog attacking the back of Kara DioGuardi’s head, did anyone else notice?

(more…)

The guys were not supposed to perform on American Idol last night. It was supposed to be the girls’ turn, up until 10am yesterday when Crystal Bowersox was taken to the hospital with an undisclosed medical condition and the guys were forced to sing a day early so she could recover. (What, we wonder, could be ailing our Bowersox? Dreadlock furball? Harmonica jaw?) The guys didn’t falter one bit after being thrown for a loop, giving their best performances of the season so far. . .mostly.
(more…)

The Round of 24 got its first major elimination on American Idol last night as we said goodbye to four contestants. They all bowed out graciously, knowing that the voting was accurate and they deserved to go. Of the girls, we lost Janell Wheeler and Ashley Rodriguez, and Joe Muñoz and Tyler Grady were the guys that got the boot. With the exception of Joe who probably deserved another week (we would have preferred to see Jermaine Sellers and his shrieking voice go home), we agree with America’s choices.
(more…)

On last night’s American Idol, or as we started calling it, “Zac Efron Hair And Scarves! The Musical”, we disagreed with the majority of what the judges had to say. As a former layperson who would watch the show on TV, Ellen DeGeneres illuminated the home audience to the fact that things sound much bigger in the studio and that if things are sounding off in the studio, they will sound far worse to the viewer at home. Makes sense since a lot of the performances that we thought were meh (Joe Muñoz, Aaron Kelly, Lee Dewyze), the judges actually loved. We also thought they were unfairly brutal to our favorite performer of the night, Todrick Hall. He out Kelly-d Kelly Clarkson, hello! Overall, we got the feeling that it was opposite day at the judging table and we feel it’s our duty to tell it like it really was.

(more…)